Last year I was arranging a trip to Uzbekistan to celebrate the 30th anniversary of a Hong Kong dinner society of which I am a member. Over the years, many of our members like me, have left Hong Kong to live elsewhere, and in the end we had 22 members make the journey to Uzbekistan from locations as far as London, Panama and Bali.
I recall a discussion with one our members during the planning stage. He and his wife were scheduled to attend a wedding in Madrid the week before the planned Uzbekistan trip, so his aim was to join the group on route back from Madrid, while his wife returned to Hong Kong solo. I remember he said: “I have to make her think it’s her idea...”
My friend’s intent was to use ‘reverse psychology’, a real and powerful technique which when used successfully, involves subtly encouraging someone to do what you want by suggesting the opposite. Reverse psychology plays on the human tendency to resist being told what to do. We have all experienced this; despite knowing that a course of action is correct, we choose to do something different because we don’t like being told what to do, or we don’t want to give others the impression that we are easy to persuade.
When applied appropriately and ethically, reverse psychology can be a powerful tool to influence stakeholder behaviour and create positive outcomes. However, it’s not easy to use because it requires finesse, empathy, and an accurate understanding of the stakeholders' mindset.
For example, during a takeover or merger, the dominant party is often keen to promote the perception of continuity internally and in front of clients. The comment “business as usual” is used to give the impression that nothing has changed for the negative. The reality may be however, that there are some changes which impact personnel or clients adversely. Starting a conversation with the phrase “Before the takeover things happened like X, has this changed?” can be persuasive because it triggers the preference to demonstrate continuity. I have used this personally in many settings and the response is usually preferrable to what I knew others received when trying to achieve the same outcome.
Reverse psychology is an unconventional technique which when used correctly can increase engagement, influence decision-making, and achieve desired outcomes. The reason it is so powerful is because it requires an understanding of your target’s values, motivations, concerns, and areas of potential resistance. It takes time to gather insights, conduct research, or engage in meaningful conversations to gain a comprehensive understanding of any given stakeholder’s perspectives.
However, when we understand and align our request with these variables, the likelihood of compliance will increase. However, what may be effective for one stakeholder may not work for another so if we are trying to influence groups, we need to focus on high level drivers that are likely to be common across the target group. Here are some examples of using reverse psychology to positively influence stakeholder decision making:
Employee Engagement Programs: Instead of simply promoting the program and asking employees to enroll, state that the program is exclusive and only available to a select group of employees. This creates a sense of curiosity and desire among employees who want to be part of the exclusive group.
Product Adoption Campaign: Instead of directly marketing a software's features and benefits, send targeted emails stating that the software is only suitable for advanced users and might be too complex for many customers. Some customers will want to test the software to prove they are capable of using it.
Employee Training and Development: Instead of simply promoting training programs, inform employees that the sessions were optional and not mandatory, emphasizing that only those truly interested in personal and professional growth should attend. This triggers the desire to be seen as committed to self-improvement, leading to higher attendance rates.
Team Collaboration and Innovation: Instead of directly instructing people to work together, mention that the project in question is highly complex and challenging, and that it may be too difficult for the team to successfully complete. This approach triggers a sense of determination and a desire to prove management wrong, leading to increased collaboration and creative problem-solving.
A final word on core structure when using reverse psychology: (i) your request should be well-aligned with the desired outcome; (ii) the underlying message should be subtle and appeal to the stakeholders' innate desire for autonomy and control, and (iii) rather than directly stating what is wanted, frame it as a suggestion or alternative option, always making it appear as if the stakeholder has the freedom to choose.
By the way, my friend never made it to Uzbekistan..
If you found this blog useful, please click ‘like’ below and forward to friends and colleagues to subscribe. If you disagree or have anything to add, please comment!
For short form videos, quick tips, useful quotations and other items related to soft skills. Please follow me on the following link! https://instagram.com/softskillsexpert?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
To catch up on previous blogs and make sure you’re not missing out on some great insights, check out the archives here.