#135: The link between Gifting and Dopamine
The Communicate to Influence Blog
A few days ago, I was standing in the lift carrying a bouquet of flowers I had bought for my wife. There was a food delivery man in the elevator and, looking at the flowers, he asked “Birthday?” to which I smiled and replied “No, not today”. He then asked, “Why?” to which I responded “There’s no particular reason.”
He shrugged as if I had said something strange, so I proceeded to give him literally an elevator pitch on why it’s better to buy gifts when they’re not expected.
When we experience a pleasant surprise, hear something of interest or encounter something unexpected, we experience a dopamine release. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter which is naturally produced in the brain and is released when we feel good. In tandem, the memory centres of our brain fire up resulting in improved recall of the event, hence the nickname given to dopamine of “the memory chemical”. The release of dopamine activates the reward pathway in the brain, increasing the level or positive response we give (ie the person giving the gift).
Why is this relevant to the timing of giving flowers, or any other gift for that matter?
When we expect to receive something (for example flowers on Valentine’s Day, a present on our birthday), while the receiving is still a pleasurable experience, the dopamine release is not as pronounced. By giving a gift when it is not expected, we trigger a larger dopamine release. This results in us feeling good and wanting more – a core characteristic of addiction and why many every day activities including smoking, drinking alcohol, eating sugary foods, using social media and playing video games are so difficult to quit.
This principle can however be used beneficially in areas of human interaction including business, social and personal settings. For example, by opening a talk with an interesting and unknown fact, we create a dopamine release in our audience who will then likely ‘reward’ us by giving us their attention. By interacting with someone in a way they never expected (creating positive surprise), you are likely to create a dopamine release – for example, accountants are stereotyped as boring and unimaginative; by setting the tone early and demonstrating that you are there to listen and arrive at innovative solutions where possible, you break the stereotype and create interest and in so doing, a dopamine release.
As for buying flowers when they are not expected, I’ll let you experiment. Hopefully the reward associated with the dopamine release will make this blog worth having read!
For short form videos, quick tips, useful quotations and other items related to soft skills. Please follow me on the following link! https://instagram.com/softskillsexpert?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
To catch up on previous blogs and make sure you’re not missing out on some great insights, check out the archives here.