Every Friday I feel a mild panic when I realise that I have little more than 24 hours to write my next blog. Despite all my good intentions each week not to leave this task to the last minute, I always end up scrambling to meet my self imposed Sunday deadline.
For the past six months my wife sacrificed all the food, drink and socialising that she loves in order to drop 10kg in body fat and compete on stage in a fitness competition, shoulder to shoulder with professional athletes many of whom were young enough to be her daughter.
What is it that drives us to do things that are an inconvenience at best and a total sacrifice at the extreme? There are many possible reasons from hitting a personal goal to a long term benefit that can be justified financially, in improved health or in personal relationships. However, I would like to focus on a reason deep within our human psychology; the need to be seen as consistent in our behaviour.
Most people (but not all) want to be considered as “good to their word”. In business this attribute is closely linked with the concepts of reliability and personal integrity. Most people would agree that being reliable and operating with integrity are required business attributes in order to be taken seriously. For those that “live by their word” they will take an especially stern view of those who do not: one strike and you’re out.
What this means in practise is that people judge the reliability and integrity of others through their own lens. They expect others to act as they would act themselves. While this is natural, it’s not necessarily appropriate. Allow me to give an example..
I grew up in the UK and my default business persona is aligned with British cultural values. I try to take a structured, unemotional approach to problem solving (thought sometimes my Italian blood kicks in and that doesn’t happen), I aim to be accurate and precise and I always value others time as if it was my own. This approach worked well for me during the 25 years I lived in Singapore and Hong Kong where the business norm was similar to my own.
I now live in Dubai and the modus operandi is very different. Middle Eastern cultures don’t interpret time linearly like Anglo Saxon and some Asian cultures, so I am having to learn (note use of present tense because this is still a work on progress!) to be more flexible in all areas of my business approach with local clients.
Bringing this back to the principle of consistency of behaviour, the challenge of aligning cultural traits with consistency traits is both a challenge and extremely interesting. Just because a culture is non-linear with their treatment of time it does not mean that they are not consistent in their behaviour or that they do not have integrity. The two traits are totally independent. Without cultural understanding however, it is very easy for someone from a linear time culture to interpret a non-linear individual as being unreliable and lacking personal integrity – which would be a huge mistake, likely closing the door on any potential business with that person if your feelings became known.
It is therefore important is to be able to read signals and understand cultural nuances. In cultures where language is very direct such as US or UK, people are taken at their word and consistency of behaviour is expected. When dealing with cultures where language is less direct and the treatment of time more flexible, it is necessary to change your lens if you want to build long term relationships.
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