My 10 year old is very entrepreneurial. Last summer she convinced my wife and I to buy her a 6 litre drinks dispenser. She found a lemonade recipe on YouTube, bought the ingredients, made it, and then sold lemonade for one dirham per cup every Friday after school. She sold out most days, the heat in Dubai being a natural ally.
This summer she has decided to branch into the bracelet business and has presented me with a wish-list of products and materials required. Unlike last year however, I would like her to understand that her product has a cost, and that the money she makes from sales needs to cover that cost plus a margin!
When she called me excitedly with her news that she would be starting a bracelet business after the summer, I wanted to support her. I told her it was a wonderful idea and that I would help her review her wish-list so we could calculate how much each bracelet would cost in order to set the price at a profit. She didn’t like what she heard!
“You just want to make it difficult for me! I don’t need to do all that, I just need you to buy everything on my list!”. She then hung up the phone.
I turned to my wife who had heard the discussion and asked if I had been clear. My wife responded that my intention was clear to her, but not to my daughter: she had heard something different.
“It’s not what you think you said, it’s what she heard that matters” she commented.
Of course she was correct. Despite teaching this principle for over a decade trying to make my words clear, I failed. The reality was that I didn’t manage my communication well enough.
A few days later when the topic came up again, and by which time I had thought about how best to convey my message, I started with the question “Would you like your business to make money?”. My daughter obviously replied “Yes”. From there I was able to gently introduce the concept of revenue vs. cost.
The process of managing reactions is not easy because each person we deal with can filter our message differently. The process therefore needs to be customised and iterative (ie based on the last reaction, we adjust our delivery). While there is no guaranteed approach to receiving the response we want, the following steps will help:
1. Before communicating, think about your objective and what is likely to make that objective attractive to your target.
2. If possible, test run your communication with someone else who knows the target or at least understands the context, and adjust for any feedback you consider valid.
3. Try to identify potential reactions/misunderstandings in advance of the discussion, and develop responses to these.
4. Conduct the discussion, observing for reaction. Use pauses to allow the target to interject or comment.
This approach will increase the chances that the message you want to deliver is the message that is received.
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