Every response we receive, every outcome we experience is the result of communication and influence. This applies to our personal, social and business lives. Something which was said (or not said), the way in which it happened, an unrealised intent, a genuine misunderstanding. All of these and many more have the power to shape our moments, our days and ultimately our destiny.
Why therefore, are so few people trained in communication and influence techniques?
Later this year I shall be releasing my first book, ‘Communicate to Influence’ which will detail communication techniques I have been teaching globally to financial institutions, multi-national corporates and business leaders for over a decade. In this series of short blogposts, I shall introduce some of the key topics that we should consider if we can’t to be influential communicators.
To get the ball rolling, let’s start with the concept of ‘conscious communication’.
Communication has a structure; there is a beginning, a middle and an end. During communication there are both verbal and non-verbal cues (I am dealing with live in-person communication here, not electronic means such as email and WhatsApp, we will deal with those in another post). Non-verbal cues relate to body language including facial expressions. I mention facial expressions specifically because in today’s covid impacted world where virtual communication is more common, facial expressions are often the only piece of body language we can observe. This therefore increases the importance of managing our verbal cues and facial expressions.
So back to conscious communication. Most of the time communication is unconscious. This means we respond automatically based on the triggers that we experience. When dealing with something where we are knowledgeable, we will likely respond appropriately. This is know as ‘unconscious competence’; we get things mostly right based on past experience and knowledge. However, when dealing in areas where we may not be as proficient such as dealing with the emotions or reactions of others or delivering a difficult message to a colleague, it helps to understand the structure of communication and how to deliver your message.
This principle of conscious competence in communication and being aware of the structure of your message is at the core of my teaching and applies to all areas of business and personal life; in leadership, management, sales and negotiation, in relationships, parenthood and friendships.
Understanding how to consciously structure your words and back them up with your body language is one of the most empowering life skills. In the words of John D Rockefeller; “The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee, and I will pay more for that ability.” I look forward to sharing my insights with you over the coming months.
Bravo - great initiative - much needed - I teach it but in a context of raising capital and it makes all the difference.
The focus of your blog is much needed in our world today. Thank you, Neil! I look forward to reading your posts.